Some Reading Recommendations

I read a lot over the internet - articles, blogs, anecdotes and so on. Many of them on motherhood. Here are some of them that I loved and hence, posting!

1. New moms face a lot of peeves - here are some

2. Social Media and pictures of your babies - It was very upsetting to see some paedophile type profiles a while ago. This article throws more insights

3. A while ago I did write about fairy tales - here is a beautiful post on it.

That is all for now!

Murphy and Us

Dear V,

On the days that I am full of energy and finish off all the chores so that I could really play with you - you always decide to take the longest of the naps and on the days where I can barely drag myself, you turn into the energizer bunny who wants to play.

If we ever decide to step out on a bad hair day (for me), you will leave my hair alone. If, for once, my hair behaves well, then you would spare no efforts in pulling it and eventually making it a bad hair day.

Murphy continues to bless us!

Love,
Amma

Of Homes With Toddlers

Dear V,

There was a time, not too long ago, where I would pick up stuff after you were done playing and put them back. Now, I have given up on it because that would mean picking up stuff the whole day. Now, I just do it once at night - after you sleep. Which means that the house is scattered with stuff through the day - not just toys, but things like batteries, pens, utensils (where are the spoons btw?), books and so on. While I often crib and complain that the house is never neat - your dad loves it, he says this is what a home looks like!

Love,
Amma

P.S - When I try to teach you to put your toys into the basket - it does not mean that you have to pull them out immediately. 

Wipe my hand!

Dear V,

You are going through one cute phase where you hate any mucky gooey stuff on your hand. In case, you happen to have something on your hand, you either look around and search for me and extend the hand to wipe the gunk off or you wipe it on the nearest furniture. Also, you bring out the wonderful expression which combines dighust and contempt and helplessness together. This also means that you are not very interested in self-feeding, something which we may work on in the coming times.

Loads of Love,
Amma

Parenthood Quotes!

I bet that I would seen such quotes before, but then I never noticed them earlier. Now, with parenthood, you not only notice such quotes, but then you begin to save them, think about them and also blog them! Here are two nice quotes that I came across last week. 


"Parenthood is sneaky. You think you’re just raising a child, teaching this little person how to live and be in this lovely, chaotic world, but in truth, you’re learning and growing right alongside them. If your heart remains open and your mind conscious, you’ll find that parenthood is the ultimate journey of self-discovery and that, through raising this precious being that has been entrusted in your care, you rise to your own fullest potential.”
~ Rebecca Eanes

“Sometimes when you pick up your child you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands, or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck. This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood - finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without.”  - Jodi Picoult

Utensils Chor

Darling V,

Most of the people check for the availability of grocery when the plan to cook something. In our house, we have to first check the availablity of utensils before we think of cooking something. For example, the day I plan to make batter for dosa or idli, I would not find the small lid that goes on the top of the mixer jar. You have become the little elf who takes away all the things and hides into unknown corners of the house. There are spoons in all the nooks and corners of the house. The wooden ladles are your favorite and God knows what joy you get in putting them all up behind the living room unit. In the process of searching, we have re-discovered some long lost objects which we had totally given up on as lost.

Love,
Amma

P.S - Learn to say it with words, do not hesitate. Do not assume that people understand without saying. Not everyone does.

Superhero Mom!

Dear V,

Sometimes you give me this feeling that I am your personal 'Superhero'. When your toy goes under the cabinet or under something where you cannot reach, your initial reaction was just to sit there and wail, unless one of us comes and helps. Now, you come running to me, pull my hand and tug me until I get up, come with you and pull out the said object. Also, when I do so, you look at me as if I have just jumped into space and bought the moon for you. As the ad says - some things are priceless. Won't be long until you figure out how to pick up your stuff, and meanwhile, let me get a cape and bask in some superhero glory.

Love,
Amma

My Dirty Little Secret

My friend R, who is an amazing cook and a food blogger wrote this about her Dirty Little Culinary Secret.

Most people whom I have met love travel. Long weekends excite them. Just wait for Friday and everyone begins asking about the travel plans. Many are backpackers who what to go to Leh! The other day a friend exclaimed and asked if there are people who do not like traveling. Well, me for one. The idea of traveling unnerves me and then the whole planning stuff just stresses me. While I do end up enjoying whatever little travel I have done so far, it has not yet motivated me to become a fan of traveling.

It is not the idea of the often tiresome journey that dulls me down, it is probably the fact that how will the destination be, what if we forget something, would the trip be worth etc etc that eats me up and takes away from the travel experience. I am not someone who lets go of things and decides to face it then and there and that probably defines what I think about travel too. Even while traveling, I have often counted the number of days after which I will be home. May be this is why having a baby has not changed a lot when it came to travel!

There I said it - I do not like traveling.

Long days and short months!

Dear V,

Excuse me for a minute, so that I can finish fainting and recover on realizing that my wee baby has now metamorphosed into a toddler who wants his way about things. Everyone complains about kids growing up so fast and I am no different. I wish I could pause time at each stage. That said, while time has flown, the days have not flown so much. Especially, the cranky clingy nights when you refused to be calmed unless we carried you. Especially, when you throw up your entire meal when we are on the last spoon - which means, cleaning and feeding again. Especially, when you resist your naps and you later put on your cranky pants.Still, do not grow up so fast my munchkin!

Love,
Amma

Never Ending Debate!

Over the past 16 months, if there is one thing that I have surely realized is that motherhood comes along with its own baggage of being judged. Your choices are always put to question. One of the most boring, over-discussed and dragged topics is whether you work or whether you choose to stay at home. Whatever your choice may be, be prepared to be judged - Oh! who takes care of the baby? Does the baby recognize you? I can't stay away from my baby for so long! I can't stay at home without work because I will go mad.

Whatever it may be, I think we are done discussing the pros and cons. Why is it so difficult to understand individual choice as well as circumstances?

Injured Soldier.

Dear V,

Well, for a change, it is not you that we are going to talk about. It is me - I have become the injured soldier here, with all the random accidents and some purposeful biting that happens in the house these days.

Most of it happens when you get too excited - the other day you were too excited and you swayed your head in such a way that it hit my lip and I got a cut. You seem to be getting a cheap thrill in pulling my hair (what ever is left of it anyway) and then you check your hand to see if you have plucked any! Though you are yet to understand the concept of hitting, I am pretty sure that it is not very far away - at which point, I plan to read you this

Loads of Love,
Injured Amma.

Hairdressers

Dear V,

If someone told me a couple of years back that I would be cutting a toddler's hair, I would have sworn that it was impossible. Here we are, armed with a pair of scissors to get your unruly mop into some kind of presentable shape. Since you always sleep on your tummy and you get up at the slightest touch, it is impossible to cut off while you sleep. The moment you see the scissors, you put on your curious face and you try to grab it!

So, the haircut happens in phases - bits by bit - over a couple of days. In the meantime, we do not hesitate to take you out with half cropped hair. By the time I finish one round, I see that the strands which I cut first would have already grown. So, it is a cycle! Until you are ready to sit in a hairdresser's chair without wailing your lungs off, yours truly will be doing the honors.

Love,
Amma

Distraction!

Dear V,

At times, I spend more than half a day distracting you. Refusal to eat - distract and feed. Toddler tantrums - distract and make you stop crying. Refusal to come out of the bath tub - distract and take away. Mindless wailing to be carried around - distract with toys! I know that going along it will be tough because you won't be easily distracted and also I would try to make you understand in a 'reasonable manner'. Also, some days I am so knocked out that I often give in - let you have your way. Yes, I am lazy that way - but I do not intend to be so for a long time.

Love,
Amma

Mom of a Boy!

Many times, I have heard this comment from people - 'You have a boy, you do not have to worry much about safety. I am really worried about the safety of my lil girl' or something similar to it. The crux being, the boys are not much in threat of getting raped/abused or molested or teased. Such observations annoy me no end. Why?

Because they think that abuse of boys does not happen and even if it happens it is just a very small percentage and hence, obviously, it can't happen to their boys. Also, many feel that boys can better 'protect' themselves when compared to girls. This is so not true. Abuse of boys is something which is really really under reported. Even if it is reported to the parents, they either do not believe it or many times they just hush it because apparently the stigma associated with it is much greater.

As the mom of a boy, I feel my responsibility is double. To educate, to teach about good touch and bad, to set up an open environment where the child trusts you and is not afraid to report any incident and so on. Other than that, I have to constantly remember that I am raising a boy - who needs to understand how important it is to respect women, to make him understand that most conventional roles are just stereotypes and also that no means no.

 

No!

Dear V,

Amma has been following so many parenting guides, websites, forums etc and one thing that is said again and again is not to overuse the word 'NO'. They talk about positive reinforcement and other better ways to say 'no'. Well, it just so happened that one of the first few words that you began to react to was 'No'. As soon as I say 'no', you being this crazy head bobbing/nodding. Well - I get your message - You can read as much as you want, but then eventually you just have to follow my cues.

Love you lil boy,
Amma

At some point during this parenting phase - we eventually figure out that our need for the bub to be a textbook baby does not work. They lead and we follow.

P.S - I doubt if there is anything called a textbook baby.

Gimme!

Dear V,

For a while, we tried to teach you what  'give me' means. For a while, you followed it to. Then what happened that you sort of misunderstood 'give me' for throw? It is so endearing to see you lob/drop the stuff in your hand the moment we say 'give me'. I know, that we should  be trying to correct to and teach you to bring stuff to us, but I am not letting this on go off easily. So, throw away all you want.

Love,
Amma