Friday, April 3, 2015

Why Have Children?

“The soul is healed by being with children.”  - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

For the longest time, we did not want to have children. The reason  did being that we did not 'want' one. Most people do not get this. Many just assume infertility. Some think it is because of our careers. Others threaten about the biological clock ticking and regret that may happen in the times to come.
I am a strong believer in the fact that motherhood is not essential to being a woman. Neither do I over glorify motherhood. I am pro-choice too. Which is why I was at the receiving end of some comments implying - ho, you were such a feminist, now even you have a baby (Whatever that meant!).

So basically, once you are married, you get pulled into this vortex of so called natural progression of having a baby. We never believed in natural progression. We are also extremely un-regretful of our decisions. There are only a few people on earth who understand this, one being my friend R, with whom I have had innumerable discussions on this, who has written so eloquently and clearly on the subject.

Which is why I come to the answer of the question - why have children? There is no other reason than the fact that we wanted one. When we began thinking about this, I gave myself some time to think over whether I really wanted a child, or whether it is because everyone (well! most) have children, was it because of peer pressure or was it because it was the 'next' thing to do. It took a while for me to settle my thoughts and be sure about it. 

Am I glad about it? Of course Yes! The boy continues to marvel me each minute of the day. Would I recommend motherhood to others? ( Because again, people keep asking me how is motherhood).  I will say I am no one to tell you that. Have a child because you want to have a child. Nothing else. Also, for the quote above - “The soul is healed by being with children”, I love it because it says just children - not your own children.

Fairy Tales

So, that was bit of gap from blogging - not intentional though. Laziness, a bit of blogger's block (if you may call it that) and also the toddler zapping me off of my energy (actually, you can use the child for any number of excuses and it works each time)!

Dear V,

I have been reading to you and telling you stories for a while - we do very simple stories and flip books as of now. While searching for what books to get you, I re-read some of the fairy tales and then the absurdity stuck me. At times, so much that even if I make extra efforts to suspend my disbelief it does not work. I am a big fan of fantasy, but then there is a difference between absurdity and fantasy, so instead of being fascinated, I found myself laughing. 

Take the Princess and the Pea for example - I mean, how did she feel those tiny three peas from under twenty mattresses, so much that it left her black and blue? Or how the Grandma was swallowed in one piece by the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood and how she came back alive! I can't wait for the time when I tell you some of these tales, and see your reaction. Such is the innocence!