Hello - Do you want a loan?

Aah yes, all of us do go through the marketing calls that we get routinely from the banks, clubs, phone services and so on. I have heard my colleagues and friends yell at them. I try to be calm and let the poor guys do their job, disconnecting their calls with a polite thank you. Though I have had my moments and while some leave me fuming, some just crack me up.

1. Me: Hello
    Q: Am I speaking to Mr. Poornima
    Me: Ahem, do I sound like 'Mr' Poornima
   Q: Oh, sorry Ms. Poornima,
   ... long conversation regarding my request for bank statements..., put on hold for 5 minutes.
   Q: Thank you for being on hold Mr. Poornima
   Me: Arghhhhh

2. Me : Hello
    Q: We offer you pre-appoved personal loan. Are you intersted?
    Me: I am not interested.
   Q: Why are you not interested madam?
   Me (with lot of self-control) - I don't want any money now.
   Q: Money will come useful madam.
   Me: Stumped. Disconnected.

3. Me: Hello
    Q:  I am calling on behalf of XYZ bank Chennai. Am I speaking to Ms. Poornima?
    Me Yes.
    Q: Madam, do you hold a XYZ bank account?
    Me: You are from XYZ bank, you should know if I hold an account. 
    Q: Madam, I will call you back tomorrow.

4. Me: Hello
    Q: Madam, we are calling form ABC skin clinic. We are offering free treatment for black circles.
    Me (gasping, looking around for some spy cameras) : Ah, How do you know I have black circles.
    Q: We don't know madam, but we guessed.
    Me: Ha ha - I don't have any dark circles.
    Q: Madam, we offer blackhead treatment for 75% discount.
    Me: Where the hell are you hiding and watching me?

5. Me: Hello
    Q: Hello Madam, do you want a health insurance policy?
    Me: No, I am not interested.
    Q: But madam, why?
    Me: I don't have any money to invest.
    Q: Madam, we have some good personal loan offers. You can try those.
    Me : Aah you smartypants!

Have you been through some interesting ones? Tell me more.