Tuesday Morning Clatter

Since I found out that randomness is what I am best at, I would stick to it. Just for the sake that something goes up on this blog. Some bits and pieces of what I have been noticing all around me.

1. People who travel abroad suddenly become extremely active on Facebook and Twitter, which at least 3-4 posts daily.I am talking about people who hardly post anything regularly otherwise. Some directly put up statuses like - Reached San Francisco or Landed in Amsterdam. Others try to add an element of subtlety by saying things like - Never imagined that I would  have to pay $25 for a haircut. Some others suddenly start missing the pot holes and cattle in India. (Don't get me wrong, I am not being judgmental. As I said, this is just an observation).

2. If you follow any show that is aired first in America and then gets aired in India, you should stay away from any sort of social networking until it gets telecasted. If you happen to open Facebook or Twitter, you would invariably find comments and discussions that will spoil the fun of the much awaited finale of American Idol  . Folks, have some consideration for people living on the other side of the globe.

3. My hunt for full fat milk in the super market was met with wired reaction. One guy got me no-fat milk and other one looked at me as if I asked for his bank balance. Well, how will I make paneer if its so difficult to find full fat milk?

4. People don't talk to each other on train journeys anymore. Everyone is hooked to their iPhone, BB, iPod or laptop.

5. A clean house solves half the problems in life. Seriously. Try it if you don't believe it. Okay, I was exaggerating, but it at least makes you happy, relaxed and calm.

Until next time!

Hello - Do you want a loan?

Aah yes, all of us do go through the marketing calls that we get routinely from the banks, clubs, phone services and so on. I have heard my colleagues and friends yell at them. I try to be calm and let the poor guys do their job, disconnecting their calls with a polite thank you. Though I have had my moments and while some leave me fuming, some just crack me up.

1. Me: Hello
    Q: Am I speaking to Mr. Poornima
    Me: Ahem, do I sound like 'Mr' Poornima
   Q: Oh, sorry Ms. Poornima,
   ... long conversation regarding my request for bank statements..., put on hold for 5 minutes.
   Q: Thank you for being on hold Mr. Poornima
   Me: Arghhhhh

2. Me : Hello
    Q: We offer you pre-appoved personal loan. Are you intersted?
    Me: I am not interested.
   Q: Why are you not interested madam?
   Me (with lot of self-control) - I don't want any money now.
   Q: Money will come useful madam.
   Me: Stumped. Disconnected.

3. Me: Hello
    Q:  I am calling on behalf of XYZ bank Chennai. Am I speaking to Ms. Poornima?
    Me Yes.
    Q: Madam, do you hold a XYZ bank account?
    Me: You are from XYZ bank, you should know if I hold an account. 
    Q: Madam, I will call you back tomorrow.

4. Me: Hello
    Q: Madam, we are calling form ABC skin clinic. We are offering free treatment for black circles.
    Me (gasping, looking around for some spy cameras) : Ah, How do you know I have black circles.
    Q: We don't know madam, but we guessed.
    Me: Ha ha - I don't have any dark circles.
    Q: Madam, we offer blackhead treatment for 75% discount.
    Me: Where the hell are you hiding and watching me?

5. Me: Hello
    Q: Hello Madam, do you want a health insurance policy?
    Me: No, I am not interested.
    Q: But madam, why?
    Me: I don't have any money to invest.
    Q: Madam, we have some good personal loan offers. You can try those.
    Me : Aah you smartypants!

Have you been through some interesting ones? Tell me more.

Once Upon A Time In Mumbai!

This one is for posterity, for me to read it at some point in future when I would be sitting and swearing at the Indian Cricket team for not doing well,  like I have done in so many previous occasions.
  
No, I have never grown my finger nails, but on April 2nd, 2011, I wish I had as I had started gnawing the flesh of my fingertips. I even contemplated reaching out and chewing my toenails.

Remember how we all resort to absurd thing to make the team win. Some people do not move from where they sit. One of my friend thought his mom is unlucky each time she enters to room and calls out to him when India is batting, so he banned her from entering the living room. Every time Reema baked a cake during the tournament, India won. On the day of finals, she was not well and was in two minds about baking. After the tough phases, she got up and baked three cakes. The not so brilliant cook in me also attempted to put something in the oven in a desperate attempt.

Remember how I stood near the bathroom because I could hear the neighbors cheering 3 seconds ahead because our DTH service had a lag.

Remember how much I laughed at Sreesanth jokes on twitter in a crazy attempt to lighten the tension. As someone said, har galti maaf. That does not mean by any chance I approve of the crazy hairdo.

Remember how I woke up early morning to switch on the news, watch the highlights over and over again and made a promise that I would not swear at them anytime. Time to keep the promise.

Thank you for getting the Cup home. I will not ask for more.

Of Family Reunions and the ensuing Conversations

After some thought, I decided to bring some color through the blogger template. I do find it too strong a color at times, but let it remain for sometime. 

Getting back to the thing that I wanted to blog about,  a recent family event at my house saw me meeting the relatives whom I don't have too many memories of interacting. The 'hi's, the 'hellos', the 'smiles', the 'chitchats' all proceeded smoothly. Well yes, how can any meeting with the extended family go on for a long time without the quintessential question? Since I am known to express my angst over any unwanted questions in a very obvious manner, the question that came to me was - How long have I been married for? The answer was taken with a smile and a well directed stare. The next look was at my unmarried cousin and even though there were no questions, the stare was loaded with meaning.

I was pleasantly surprised because until now most people ask me about the 'good news' directly. Well, I did not have to be surprised for long because I soon saw these ladies heading to my mom. Now, having a daughter  like me, she has learned to tackle these questions without a flinch. The questions were terrible it seems, some one asked whether I have been taken to a doctor. Someone commented that may be she has already discovered the 'problem' and is not telling you because you may upset. Later, someone came to me and said if you 'reject' when God gives you, later he may not give at all.

No, don't get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against babies. In fact, I totally adore and drool over them. The blogs I read are mostly about mamma's sharing their adventures with their kiddos. Babies are the most adorable little things ever. It is just that I have no idea why there is unnecessary curiosity. It is not just for me, but its for every girl who is of marriageable age who is unmarried and every married girl who is not yet pregnant. Over the course of three and a half years, I have learnt to effectively tackle any such questions. The assumption that there is a 'problem' if you do not have a child after a couple of years of marriage is really uncalled for.

The thing that upsets me the most is that there would be couples who are battling the problems of infertility. Already, they must be going through a challenging time with those medical tests and treatments. After that, if you encounter such questions, it must be affecting their mind. The general answer to such situations is that ignore it. Yes, you can ignore it to some extend but when you hear the same thing more than once, it is not easy to cut it out. I have not yet thought of a smart answer and I just smile it off, just because I do not want to create a scene and these people are not even important to me that deserve an answer.

Are there any polite ways of saying, "Mind your own business" ?

Until later!

Morning Encounter!

The old newspapers have been piling up and it was the time to sell them off. Selling old newspapers have pleasant memories for me. When we were kids, we would eagerly await the day that Dad sells newspapers to the local kabadiwala. The money that he gets by selling those old papers is divided among my brother and me and that was one major source of pocket money those days. The amount would never be greater that Rs 50 for each of us, yet it was a much awaited event. Anyway, I digress.


The bell rang and I opened it to see a young guy dress in a pair of jeans and t-shirt holding a touch screen Samsung Corby. He wished me good morning and he said he has come to collect the old newspaper. He said all that in impeccable English. This was new to my preconditioned mind. We started taking the newspapers out and in between he asked us if we have checked the papers properly to make sure that there were no important papers inside. He sorted them to double check and did his job swiftly. Weighed them properly, used the calculator on his phone and calculated the money. We were sort of surprised because generally both S and I have fought while we sell the newspaper as they invariably weigh it less.

Finally, I succumbed to it. Though I am not very proud of it, I could not resist asking him about how he knows good English. He smiled and replies saying that he is just learning it, because most of his customers do not know Kannada and he does not want to lose good clients because of not knowing a language. He said soon he will learn Hindi too. He said he watches TV to learn sentences and its not difficult to learn. He added that business is very good for him and its going in a profitable way but the competition is high. Wow, impressed I was by knowing that he understands some business tactics.

After he left, I could not help thinking about why was I so amused about he speaking English. Well, I know for a fact that knowing good English does not make you an achiever or bring automatic success to you. Yet, for him, it was necessary to impress his clients and strike a rapport with them. Even then why should I be surprised? I guess it goes back to my conditioning where we naturally assume ideas and create stereotype. As much as I like to assume that I stay away from stereotyping anyone or anything, the subconscious preconditioned mind intervenes and baffles me. This takes me back to a good post by Arushi.

May be the next time, I should not get surprised and just take it as normal. Will I succeed? If I don't, it may find its place in the bog. If I will, then it may not because then I would have matured enough to pass it off as something normal.