Weekend Reading!

I have been reading quiet a lot these days - mostly non-fiction - articles, blogs and so on. Sharing two of my favorite articles that I read this week. These have strongly tugged the strings in my heart and bought a tear or two to my eyes. If you are reading this blog, then you might as well read these articles.

I have always been a big fan of Sheryl Sandberg, right from my Google days, where I remember her being full term pregnant, yet leading a global conference right from the front. She gave the commencement speech at University of California, Berkley and I feel the text of the speech is a must read for everyone. Read the text here.

Some lines that stuck to me - 
1. In the face of the void — or in the face of any challenge — you can choose joy and meaning.
2. You will be defined not just by what you achieve, but by how you survive.
3. “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”
4. Not taking failures personally allows us to recover — and even to thrive.
5. It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings.
6. Live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be. How precious every day actually is.

As parents, we are constantly judged. Not just by friends or family, but even by the stranger on the road. At the same time, we are also guilty of judging other people, by somehow assuming that what worked for our children is the standard norm and it should work for everyone else. A huge part of my motherhood journey has been to be non-judgemental and to respect other people's choices, decisions and circumstances. This post is a reminder that before you even mentally point out - oh, what are they doing?, pause for a minute and take a deep breath.

"Spoiling that baby’ is the most important job I will ever have, and it is a privilege."

Hope you enjoy the reading suggestions! 

Why Have Children?

“The soul is healed by being with children.”  - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

For the longest time, we did not want to have children. The reason  did being that we did not 'want' one. Most people do not get this. Many just assume infertility. Some think it is because of our careers. Others threaten about the biological clock ticking and regret that may happen in the times to come.
I am a strong believer in the fact that motherhood is not essential to being a woman. Neither do I over glorify motherhood. I am pro-choice too. Which is why I was at the receiving end of some comments implying - ho, you were such a feminist, now even you have a baby (Whatever that meant!).

So basically, once you are married, you get pulled into this vortex of so called natural progression of having a baby. We never believed in natural progression. We are also extremely un-regretful of our decisions. There are only a few people on earth who understand this, one being my friend R, with whom I have had innumerable discussions on this, who has written so eloquently and clearly on the subject.

Which is why I come to the answer of the question - why have children? There is no other reason than the fact that we wanted one. When we began thinking about this, I gave myself some time to think over whether I really wanted a child, or whether it is because everyone (well! most) have children, was it because of peer pressure or was it because it was the 'next' thing to do. It took a while for me to settle my thoughts and be sure about it. 

Am I glad about it? Of course Yes! The boy continues to marvel me each minute of the day. Would I recommend motherhood to others? ( Because again, people keep asking me how is motherhood).  I will say I am no one to tell you that. Have a child because you want to have a child. Nothing else. Also, for the quote above - “The soul is healed by being with children”, I love it because it says just children - not your own children.

Listening!

Vedu,

It is tough to be a good listener. I can already see how restless you get when I try to talk to you - you are more interested in that old toffee wrapper. In the coming years, you will see how I will try my best to make you a good listener. Please co-operate.

Love,
Amma

Avoid If Possible!

Lil V,

There are a few things which you should try to avoid to say as much as it is possible. They are - 'I told you so',  'No offense meant' , 'My intention is not to hurt you but..'. what happens is that you will end up hurting a person who is already a little hurt. No offense meant is not a disclaimer to openly offend someone.

Love,
Amma

Mommy Guilt - Snippet of the day!

Darling V,

You would have realized by now that I am actually a lazy person and if there is one person who can make me do things it is you. I am trying hard, but then I end up most days thinking that I would do better tomorrow. Did I play with you enough? Did I talk to you and tell you stories? Why did I check Whatsapp in between, because of which I could have prevented that fall? Am I doing the best? I keep asking these things to myself.

I understand it is the mommy guilt and it will happen even if I am a superwoman. Just wanted to let you know that I am trying and I will keep trying.

Love,
Amma

Where I have been?

Its been a while since I posted something. Excuses, I can give you many - from being busy setting up a new house to adjusting to a new city. The truth is that I have more time than I ever had in the world. So, why I have not been blogging? Well... my procrastinating self coupled with doubts about my future plans has kept me away from this blog.

I love this break in my life - it gives me ample time to relax, something which I have not done enough for over 4 years now. On the other-side, it is slightly never racking that I do not have a job and I am still thinking on what I should do next. I am forcing myself to not think too much and jump into something that I would not enjoy after a while (Yes, I do get bored of things pretty fast). A lot of random people are suddenly very concerned as to how I am managing to sit at home without a job. Well, as long as they are not spending any money on me, I should not be concerned.

Yups, so let me get my act together and enjoy this break. I keep telling my self that it is a well-deserved one and that I should not get bogged down. Hope that my mind listens to what I am saying and I do away with those panic attacks. I love this break and this chance to think. Period.